Saturday, May 9, 2009

finding time I never lost in the first place

We had some people over tonight for a BBQ (thanks Heather and Kelly for putting it all together!) One of our friends who joined us was Betsy, and she said something that I found quite interesting and have been musing over all evening (and clearly on into the late hours).

We were talking about the guy she's dating and she mentioned how they were compatible in many ways, one of which was their strong desires for neatness and organization. This statement was slightly embarrassing to me as we were sitting in my rather cluttered room huddled around my laptop (we were Facebook stalking aforementioned guy). Now I don't consider myself a slob by any means but I've got this habit in which my clothes and other items from the week don't really make it where they need to go and sort of end up in a pile on my bedroom floor. Typically, Saturday rolls to my rescue and I take the time to straighten everything out, feel relieved about the retrieved order in my life, and swear to myself it won't happen again. (rinse, wash, REPEAT it seems to go)

I know you're really reading to see what Betsy's wisdom was and probably don't care much about the state of my room (or you've seen it and are laughing at my clutter understatement). I said to Betsy in excuse of my bombshell, 'I just don't really have time during the week... how do you find the time?' And she said 'It isn't about finding the time, it's just about doing it. It's something that needs to get done, and you do it. Like working out - you don't 'find time', it's just one of the things you do.'

Now working out isn't really a good analogy for me because it is also one of those things I categorize into 'finding time' for, along with managing my room and other life affairs. But this brought me back to a conversation I had with a friend long ago who hadn't finished college and was just amazed that I'd (along with many of our other friends) been able to do it. She said to me 'You're so smart and so dedicated... I just can't seem to get through it. How do you do it? How do you find time?' and I answered 'It's not an option... it's just something I knew I had to do so I did it. I never stopped to think of the alternative.' I think for many of us who've finished our undergrad... did we ever really think 'What if I just didn't do this?'' No. We just did it because we were going to do it.

I guess that's the sort of attitude Betsy carries with her in the smaller things in life, like staying organized and working out. They shouldn't be things that you 'find time for', they should be things that we just DO. They are things that make our lives better - so why would there be any alternative? Because wouldn't the alternative be to continue doing the things that make our lives harder, like staying cluttered, not making healthy life-style choices, etc?

It seems I've been looking to find time that I've always had, I've just allowed myself to chose alternative things in which to fill up said time. Because some days (even some weeks most days) I have the time to do the things that make my life better. I suppose now it's all about recognizing my flawed thinking and working on resetting it. Keeping organized is not an option. Running is not an option. Saving money is not an option. They are all MUSTS. And so on and so forth...